Getting to Me

People of faith often speak of nearness to God. We quote verses that encourage our hearts toward that goal—a sense of well-being and safety. We long for the times we feel that “okayness” that comes when we’re close to Him.

But much of the time we aren’t in that happy place.

What happens when we notice barriers between ourselves and the God we choose to follow? When we feel as if there are walls between us? We’re caught in cycles of thoughts and emotions that keep us from being near and loved? What are those walls and how do they happen? What causes the disconnect?

The answers will be different for each of us, but lately I’ve been thinking about this: In order to get to God I first have to get to myself.

My days are filled with chores and projects and some downright laziness now that I’m retired. A whole day can come and go and I haven’t taken even one minute to check in with my real self. What am I thinking? Feeling? What am I stressing over and allowing to ruin my peace? What did I say that I’d like to take back? What opportunity did I miss that might have made a difference?

I have to connect with my true self.

I do know how to get to me. It involves a conscious decision to physically move from one place to a better one, usually outside, sometimes in my favorite indoor place where I can enjoy my vine maple tree in its current season of beauty. I need my Bible and I need my journal. I need a space of time—not even that much time. It’s simple.

Simple? Then why doesn’t it happen more often?

Every time I get to me I’m surprised. And I’m thankful. I’m still here, I still have a voice and I sift through a whole bunch of things quite quickly and get to the heart of the matter.

When I’ve found me I can turn to Him. The barrier was actually between me and the things I allow to take over my life. God was always there and now we can connect.

To get to God I have to first get to me. Then good things happen.