The Little Things

  There’s been a lot of bad news lately. Several friends have died and left bereaving friends and relatives and some are suffering even as I write this. In the big scheme of things there are always people playing out all the possible scenarios of life: there’s a baby girl about to be born and our friends in India are hoping to rescue her from female genocide, there are first baby steps taken, good or not so good report cards received, sports goals achieved, jobs gained or lost, accidents prevented or experienced. Life goes on, both good and bad.

When we’re in the middle of painful circumstances or those we love are going through them, it’s often difficult to know how to help. We feel inadequate. We can’t change the circumstances and we can’t really ease the pain. In fact I’m overwhelmed by the reality that I can’t fully enter into another’s pain. It’s almost as if there’s a barrier that keeps my life separate from those deep in grief and suffering.

Here’s what I can do. I can show up. I can be present and alongside those in pain much as little toddlers play side by side. I can offer the little things. I can give hugs and offer meals and try to feed the body when I can’t quite touch the spirit.

Once I read about a man who went to the house of those who’d lost their loved one. He just went to their closets and began to shine all the shoes. He probably didn’t have words to say but he knew they would need their shoes ready to wear for the services. I’ve never forgotten that little illustration of how inadequate we are to take away another’s pain, but how beautiful it is to give whatever we can give.

I’m shaken by the losses and the pain. I’m also motivated to do those little acts of kindness that may help those suffering to gain a foothold on the future. We’re here to walk with God and link arms with others as we go. Even though I can’t alleviate the pain, I’m thankful I can do the little things.