Happy and Successful Kids Lifeskill 1: Focus and Self Control

Lifeskills must be modeled and taught. While some children seem to learn them more easily than others, they don’t just “happen.” Children who learn them are better adjusted and more successful in all areas of life, but especially in a learning setting.

Our world is filled with distractions and information overload. To engage in learning, children must be able to intentionally focus attention, screen out noise and other distractions, pay attention at the right times and remember rules and directions. That’s a lot to expect.

There are four main components to Focus and self control:

  • Focus: the ability to remain alert, direct attention, concentrate on a goal, break the problem down into steps and keep moving toward the goal.
  • Cognitive Flexibility: The ability to switch attention from one situation to another. For example being able to see another person’s perspective or trying a different solution when the first one doesn’t work. This skill is necessary to learn new information.
  • Working Memory: The ability to hold information in our minds while updating it. This skill is necessary in problem solving, when prioritizing tasks, doing mental arithmetic, following the plot of a story and in organizing materials to complete a task.
  • Inhibitory Control: The ability to resist doing something and choosing to do something more appropriate. We see this when children ignore distractions to focus on a task, when they persevere in difficulty and when refraining from acting out verbally or physically. It involves control of attention, emotions and behavior.

How to Promote Focus and Self Control

  • Play guessing games such “I’m thinking of an animal… or I spy…
  • Do all kinds of puzzles that require concentration.
  • Play games such as Red Light, Green Light that require careful listening and response.
  • Play games such as musical chairs that require children to keep responding to a changing situation.
  • Read aloud to children and ask them to fill in a word, repeat something or predict what might happen next.
  • Play sorting games with cards or pictures. Challenge the child to sort in another way to build flexibility. For example sort first by color and then by shape.
  • Promote creativity and imaginative play. This requires “making a plan” and then following that plan such as “Let’s build a fort.”
  • Teach basic manners that require the child to inhibit a tendency to interrupt, hit, say something hurtful, etc.

In all the above activities it’s important to remain positive. Focus and paying attention is hard work. Give plenty of room for varying learning styles and unique personalities.