When I was about eight years old I decided it would be fun to live in a travel trailer. Our family didn’t happen to own one, so I set about building one for myself. I dreamed about parking it on the very back treeline of our property and living there, wild and free.
I was a logical child, so I started at the beginning. A trailer stood on wheels—I’d have to make those first. I found an old saw and some plywood and began trying to saw in a circle. It wasn’t easy, but I hacked out some sort of circle-like things and moved on. Next I’d need the floor of the trailer. I found some two by fours, nails and a hammer and pounded them together in ninety degree angles. So far, so good.
Then something unimaginable happened. My nasty older cousin came for a visit with my aunt and uncle. He found my project and not only made fun of it, he tore it apart. I was already beginning to have some self-doubts about my progress, but his ruining what I had done sent me into angry wails.
And here’s the important part for any parent reading this. My mom didn’t back me up. She had no clue about my hopes and dreams and all she saw was a little heap of wood. She told me I was being silly and to stop making such a fuss.
I was heartbroken. My dreams of living in my cozy trailer had gone up in smoke.
What’s the lesson here? Ellen Galinsky’s book, Mind in the Making, talks about encouraging children to take on challenges. It’s an essential life skill. She encourages parents to support their children when they want to build a lemonade stand, build a fort on the back forty, or run in a 5k race to raise money for a good cause.
Why? Because whenever a child is willing to step out and try something, our role as parents is to cheer them on. Children don’t always have the words to express the reasons they want to try something big–they just know the dream is there and they want to give it a go.
Please, encourage them. Whenever possible, provide the tools they need to succeed. Believe in them. So what if they only make ten cents at their lemonade stand or they’re only able to build the ground floor of the trailer? They’ll do better the next time, and there will be a next time with your encouragement and support.