I’m not aware that my parents had any plan in mind when it came to parenting. Our day to day lives just sort of happened. But there was the high expectation that my brother and I would go to college one day. My dad grew up on a farm and had to forego education to help feed seven children. He wanted us to have the education he missed out on–wanted us to have more opportunities and live a “better life.”

But even though my parents didn’t seem to intentionally teach us their values, we learned them just the same. It was important to be honest. It was important to know how to work. We were a fishing and bowling sort of family, not a hiking, art museum type. Good grades were important, but all that happened at school. We didn’t talk about art or music or good literature. That I became a bookworm was, at least partially, because my mother read to us when we were younger.

We learned my parents values without direct instruction, just as your children are learning what’s important and valuable in your home. What you say and do will convey the values you hold in high esteem. It may be a little scary, but you have the power to influence your children toward an infinite number of ways of thinking and being.

What’s important to you? What do you talk about, get excited about, spend a lot of time doing? Where do you go as a family and how do you spend leisure time? Do you get out in nature or spend a lot of time playing games at home? Do you take the time to teach your children how to work? How to fix things? How to clean and maintain your home? Do you intentionally talk about caring for others, kindness and love? Do you model a lifestyle of faith and generosity?

It’s a fact: just like the little ducklings in the photo, your children will follow your lead. The culture of your home can be any number of excellent things and it will be unique. I always put a plug in for shaping your child’s attitudes toward learning. If you intentionally read to them, read to learn and enjoy yourself, and model learning activities such as identifying leaves when on a walk, your children will learn to do that. If they see you searching out information on various topics online and sharing what you’ve learned, they will want to do that one day too. All of these simple efforts will build a culture of learning in your home.

Take a few minutes and jot down the top values being instilled in the day to day life of your family. What do you want to add or delete?  What is the culture of your home?